Life with two Dyslexic Boys

Dysnomia...now there's a mouthful!

2011-10-21T06:32:00.000-07:00

Being the daughter of a dyslexic and the mom of two dyslexics, I've always struggled with what to do when my kids or Mom are struggling with finding a word. It's like they can remember every other word to describe what they are trying to say, but not the word they mean. Here's an example of how it goes....my son was telling me a story about something he saw on the way home from school and he couldn't remember the word for bus, but he remembered that it was yellow and big. It carries the kids to and from school and it's a vehicle. I felt like I was playing a word game, which I don't mind because I love word games, but I always feel bad for him when he has a moment of suffering from dysnomia...yes, it has a name. Actually, it's a disorder and it has a medical classification. As usual, my attitude has been...call it what you want just tell me how to help my kids and my mom, while we are it.

I went to a workshop recently at Woodland Hall Academy, the school my children attend, and thankfully the principal provided some answers and shared some tips on how to help someone who has dysnomia.

My oldest son seems to suffer the most from dysnomia. He has a very difficult time remembering names and recalling words. When he reads, I can give him a word he doesn't know, but he can't remember it the next time he sees it in a following sentence. It can be frustrating for both of us but the workshop I attended provided strategies and ways to keep us both from getting frustrated. Here's a few that we have found useful...

1. Don't play the rhyming game. In other words, don't say it rhymes with a word. People with dysnomia aren't good at rhyming.

2. Give the person time, don't get frustrated with them when they can't come up with the word.

3. Sometimes it's best just to give them the word. This reduces the frustration and provides the opportunity to focus on the content of what they are saying.

4. When reading and they can't remember the word, just give it to them and focus on the story.

At this point, I'm grateful for the tips and hope they help others. I'm also so grateful that my children are at a school they love and, most importantly, they love learning!!!

Normal and New

2010-09-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

Normal...have you ever contemplated that word? I have and I'm happy to say that a few people have recently used the term to describe my kids. Although the issues our boys are dealing with are mild compared to what others face, I was sad when I found out they would be dealing with lifelong challenges. Fortunately, we didn't stick our heads in the sand. We didn't wait for them to out grow any of it. I am so grateful for the early intervention we did and all the help we have had and continue to have along the way. So, whatever normal means, I'm happy to hear it as a term to describe the boys. I know it's a silly, silly thing, but the most important part about it is the progress they have made. For that, I am truly grateful!

On a different note, I wanted to share a great article entitled "Dyslexia: What Teachers Need to Know". I recently saw it in the "Instructor" magazine produced by Scholastic. As a teacher educator, I often subscribe to such magazines and just like the public schools, I've never seen mention of the "D" word, dyslexia. My favorite part about the article was the positive slant, particularly that "dyslexics are strong learners". Oh so true! It's amazing what Marshall can repeat. He is like a sponge, but he does have to share that knowledge with others. I also found the half page of Quick Facts About Dyslexia a great way to hit on the important aspects of dyslexia.

The article was well written and included some excellent resources. I'm not sure which website resource I like the best, but I was pretty impressed with the Kids Health site which included a way to listen to the content on the page.

The International Dyslexia Association http://interdys.org/

LD Online http://www.ldonline.org/article/Dyslexia_Basics

Kids Health http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/learning_problem/dyslexia.html

Dyslexic Teaching Today http://dyslexia-teacher.co.uk/

I hope you enjoy these resources and share them with others!!!! Thanks for reading!

All In

2010-08-24T17:47:00.000-07:00

School started yesterday and I'm amazed at how quickly we are back in the groove. I guess summer school helps to keep us on track and makes the "reentry" to a new school year much smoother. Lately, I've been thinking about how grateful I am that we stick to the school policy of low sugar - less than 3 grams. I can't imagine what it would be like if Mike and I weren't on the same page with this.

Over the summer we had some friends from school over to swim. I was a little caught off guard when one of the mom's asked me if we did the "low sugar thing" on the weekend. Of course, I said yes and we enjoyed watermelon and veggies when we took a break from swimming. The complex sugar in fruits doesn't effect the boys the way that processed sugar does.

When you spend a boat load of money on your kids' education, it's worth that investment to go all in. We try to do our best in the areas of food. I'd give us an A- for effort and implementation and an A+ for creativity. We have come up with some very creative alternatives that have been rather popular. Here's a example, the boys are in cub scouts which equates to camping trips,

camp fires and typically smores. Obviously, smores aren't on the low sugar list, but cocktail wienies are. They were quite the hit with the other scouts too as were the big bag of carrots we were eating by the camp fire. How funny is that??

The times that we have given in to the need for treats it has been nothing but disastrous. For Marshall, it takes him four days to come off a sugar high. I remember the weekend of Jensen's birthday they both had too many helpings of ice cream. The following week they both got in trouble at school and got sent to the office. I felt particularly bad because I was the one who let them have more. I felt like a mom who had given her kids crack!!!

I do have to give my mom and dad props for going all in too!!! Coco and Papa, as they are known, have been gracious enough to spend extended time with our kids for winter breaks and spring breaks. They have been wonderful about ensuring the boys are eating right. I can imagine that as a grandparent it must be hard not to give the grands "treats". They, too, have found some special alternatives that are nice treats for the kids like low sugar protein bars.

Another alternative that has been especially nice for celebrations has been Publix's sugar free cakes. I have to order the cakes in advanced, but they look great and taste great, too, as does the no sugar added Eddy's ice cream. It's much better than the alternative crazy behavior and it makes for a nice birthday party too! The other kids aren't loaded up on sugar either.

I can tell when the boys have had too much sugar even without knowing what they ate. Recently, they went on a trip and I stayed home. The night they came home, I sat down to read with Jensen and he couldn't sit still, he couldn't focus on the words, and he couldn't keep his place in the story. It was miserable! I thought about the teachers who had to deal with our kids when they had eaten too much sugar...oh how sorry I am for that.

So, we do a pretty good job when it comes to low sugar food. The times when we do goof up are teachable moments and ones we don't want to repeat. The important part is that we get back on track and go all in again!!!

Honk Your Hours

2010-07-28T12:27:00.000-07:00

While reading a book about cars, Jensen was doing a great job until he came to a sentence that said "Honk your horns". He read it as "honk your hours". I had to keep from laughing because it just sounded funny, but it reminded me how different he sees the world and what a challenge reading is for him.

I'm happy to say that he's getting it. With lots of practice and direct instruction, his reading has improved. His fluency is better and he is remembering words when he sees them later in the story. Even though his progress is slow, it is in a positive direction....what more could a mom ask for???

Sitting on My Phone in Concrete

2010-07-28T12:20:00.000-07:00

I'm sure the title of this blog caught your interest...it is a rather funny story! My family was in the car one day and Mike asked me if I had received a specific email response. I said, "No and I have been sitting on my Droid all day." From the back seat came, "sitting on your phone...won't you break it?" Mike and I started laughing and I said in a whisper to him, "I forgot how concrete the dyslexic mind is." From the backseat came, "why were you sitting on your phone in concrete?". I just didn't quite no how to answer that one. Anyway, it was a good laugh!

Silly Bandz Aren't So Silly

2010-07-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

The Silly Band craze has struck the Barrett household, but in a very different way. We have learned just how motivating Silly Bands can be. As I mentioned in my last posting, Jensen is working on a 100 book challenge and building his vocabulary is part of that adventure. When we are reading, I write down words he doesn't know on index cards and then we play our favorite sight word game, called Three Strikes and You Win.

Here's how the game works, once we have a stack of cards, say 20 cards or more, I show the cards to Jensen one at a time and if he says the word correctly I place a "X" on the back of the card. Once he has three "X's" on the card, he gets the card. The Silly Bands come into play after he has earned five index cards. Then, he gets to stick his hand in the bag and grab a Silly Band. Last count he was up to 25 Silly Bands. What a fun way to build a vocabulary!!!

In case you are wondering where we got

the game, we saw this in 2007 at a reading workshop we attended at Buck Lake Elementary called Building Better Readers. The Families Building Better Readers workshop was sponsored by Just Read, Florida!

Race to the Space Police

2010-06-29T19:16:00.000-07:00

The new challenge is on and this time it's for Jensen. Mike challenged him to read 50 books and he could have a new toy. During the trip to Toys R Us, the challenge quickly changed. Jensen talked his Daddy into a bigger Lego set, a Space Police Lunar Limo, if he read 100 books. Wow! I'm happy to hear that Jensen upped the challenge, but wow! Jensen really struggles with reading so I was REALLY surprised by his enthusiasm for this adventure.

Reading with the boys is my passion so I had to set up a process to make all of this happen and record the books. The first step was to let him pick out the books. He quickly dug around the house and came up with 50 books at a variety of levels....all his choice.

The next thing we put in place was how he would keep track of the challenge. Jensen needs some work on writing, too, so I decided to get a special notebook and have him number, write the name of each book, and a little something about the book. This didn't deter the excitement level, I think it only increased it. Jensen was excited that he would keep track of this challenge.

So, it was finally time to get down to the business of reading books. One of the issues that Jensen has with reading is learning new words. If you give him the word, he can't remember it the next time he sees it. I started writing down the words on index cards...I'll tell you more about that later...and on we went. We read Biscuit and the Baby, Biscuit's New Friend, Biscuit Goes to School and then we came to a book about Houdini, a chapter book.

Once again, Jensen surprised me. He dove into the book and began reading his first chapter book. Although, we had a pile of words to learn, night after night, we plugged away through that book. I've seen much improvement in his fluency and he started to remember the new words the next time he saw them, at least a few of them. In three weeks, he has read 20 books including the chapter book and we only counted that as one. Maybe we should have counted it as eight, but we didn't.

As Jensen was packing up for a trip to visit his grandparents, I decided that I would give him a break from the reading and not push it since he was doing so good. He came to me and asked if he could take his notebook and of course I said yes. That was worth a big smile....I think he thought I would say no. I told him that any book he read to his Papa or Coco counted.

I'm so happy that Jensen is excited about reading because I do believe that if you can read, you can do anything. I learned to juggle by reading a book! I can't was to see what Jensen learns from reading.

To the Castle...

2010-06-13T13:19:00.000-07:00

Learning to tie shoes is one of the little, but important skills to learn in life. Marshall, who struggles with his fine motor skills, consequently finds shoe tying a challenge. Mike decided to provide some motivation to help Marshall master the art of shoe tying...what a great Dad! So, he took Marshall to Walmart and let him pick out a really cool toy.

After returning home they wrote an agreement stating that Marshall would receive the toy, which resided on top of the frig, when he had tied his shoes 100 times.

I think Mike was a little disappointed that Marshall only had two "tie" marks after a week. When Mike asked Marshall if he wanted to tie shoes Marshall said no. I was successful a few times by telling Marshall it was time to tie shoes, adding a few more tick marks. Whatever we tried, we just couldn't get him moving with this challenge.

Marshall found the turning point in his motivation the day after a family trip to the movies to watch Shrek Forever After. I told Marshall it was time to tie shoes. A significant time later he returned with a pile of shoes and proceeded with his shoe tying fest. Five minutes later he had racked up twelve successful ties. The secret to his success was a few lines from Shrek where

Fiona said, "the dragon goes under the bridge, through the tunnel and to the castle to save the princess." Can I just say that Shrek Forever After is my new favorite movie? It really was a fun movie. Regardless, I still can't believe a few lines in a movie made that much of a difference, but it did!

Marshall quickly tied his shoes many times and even enlisted the help of

his older brother. They made an assembly line. As soon as Marshall tied a shoe, he tossed it over his shoulder, yelled "shoe waiting" and Jensen untied it. Then, Jensen added it back to the line up. What a great team!

One of my favorite parts about being a mom is watching the moments when the light comes on, their brains click, and the boys learn something new. One never knows when it's going to happen, but life is pretty

amazing when it does. I have to say I am pretty proud of Marshall for his hard work. I have to give props to Jensen for being such a wonderful and supportive big brother. Finally, way to go Mike! You came up with a brilliant idea! Not only did you motivate Marshall to learn how to tie his

shoes. You taught him about setting a goal and reaching it. You also taught him about delayed gratification...something that is difficult to learn in our instant society.

The Weird Kid

2010-05-19T19:33:00.001-07:00

When I found myself in the kitchen last weekend with two crying boys, my heart broke just a little and I had to let go just a little more. Jensen started the crying, saying that he was upset that some boys called his brother "The Weird Kid" at an event the night before. Marshall joined in with tears and I wish I could have found the parental manual with the chapter on how to protect your kids or at least the chapter on what to do when another kid makes fun of your kid.

Marshall's Asperger's does make him different from others. Most people don't notice his issues with making friends and interacting appropriately with others. At first glance, he seems very outgoing, cute and funny. We have been working with him on his approach to meeting people and learning to ask questions and interacting as opposed to bombarding his acquaintance with stories about his teeth or the latest thing he has learned. We'll keep working on this one.

I do admit that in some ways Woodland Hall Academy has us spoiled. The boys are graded on their encouragement of others. Around our house you hear comments like, "That was a nice try" or "Way to go" and the comments come from the boys....not just the parents. Wouldn't our world be a better place if we all encouraged one another?

My response in this situation was simply that the boys needed to pray for the kids who were calling Marshall names and be thankful they have parents who are trying to teach them better. Then the floodgates opened and out came more stories and questions I wasn't quite ready to answer.

Marshall told me about a boy who was "waving his finger in a circle by my head". I just told Marshall it wasn't nice and not to do it. Guess what he did to the boy who did it to him the very next day at Cub Scouts? Marshall tried out the crazy sign. I called him down immediately and reminded him of how upset he was when the boy did the same thing to him. He scooted back to his seat and hasn't tried it since.

Marshall also waved his middle finger at me and asked me if I knew what that meant. I told him I did and asked him if he knew what it meant. He said the boy that taught it to him the night before said it was a bad sign. I agreed and told him all he needed to know at this point in time is that he shouldn't be doing this.

Gee! Being a Mom is definitely interesting and I remember what it was like to be called awful names, but I will say that it brings to mind sayings like, "Smooth sailing doesn't make a skillful sailor" which brings me some comfort. So, whatever reason Marshall is supposed to experience such meanness I just hope I can help him through it if only just to listen and be a safe place where the boys can share their experiences.

In the Spotlight

2010-03-14T17:36:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I have written about the boys and their experiences with Dyslexia. I will get back to this. For the most part, I'll just say that no news is good news. Although I do have some interesting stories to tell.

I'll get started with "Open House". Open House is kind of a misnomer. I think it should be called something like "Curriculum Night" or "Let's Have Fun with What We Have Learned Night".

In November, we attended Open House and what a wonderful event! The main reason I enjoyed it because of what the boys had to do. They had to:

1. Get up in front of people.

2. Say their memorized lines.

3. Speak loud enough to be heard.

For most people, that would be a butterflies-in-the-stomach experience. It appeared that most of the students, our boys especially, were excited to share what they had learned and of course each skit included some humor which made it all the more fun.

Here's the "mom" perspective. This was really impressive because I watch my kids struggle with reading every day. They mispronounce words, they lose their place when they are reading, they add words, and they get frustrated. I was nervous for them, but I didn't share that with the boys. I was so proud that they pulled it off. They memorized all of their lines and made it happen. What a wonderful way to help these boys and other students develop into confident, happy and successful people!

The Ostrich, Or At Least That's What My Mom Calls Me

2009-07-21T17:17:00.001-07:00

Yes, my mom calls me an ostrich, referring to the fact that I like to stick my head in the sand and ignore things. I like to call it my thinking time. I need to think about how to deal with issues and what to do next. I mean , it's hard to hear that your babies aren't perfect and that they will have life long challenges. Any parent who has been through any sort of medical or psychological assessment with a child can tell you about the challenges of the processes and the outcomes. Let me say that I know the diagnosis my boys have, could have been a lot worse and I count my blessings every single day. I just pray that we can do everything we need, to help them reach their potential.

When the boys were first diagnosed, one with PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Delays Not Otherwise Specified) and one on the Autism Spectrum, I was completely caught off guard by the grieving process. It was sad to think that they wouldn't be the perfect little boys, I had dreamed they would be. So, what happened? The grieving process blindsided me. First there was shock and denial. I stayed in denial for a while, hence my nickname. The anger came in the form of being made at other parents who mistreated their children and the guilt was in thinking I had done something wrong. Depression continues to rear its ugly head from time to time and I like to eat that one. I have come to accept my beautiful boys just the way they are and support them through their challegnes and celebrate their joys. I continue to grow right along with my whole family, especially spiritually, and I count among my greatest blessings my husband and our two wonderful boys!

A few years ago, I participated in a parent focus group that was part of a research project and I did find comfort in hearing other parents share similar experiences with the grieving process. The best part of sharing with other parents was the hope and that's what I'll hang onto for now!

It's a dyslexic thing...the time issue!

2009-07-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

Recently one of Marshall's teachers asked me when he was having surgery. She said that he had asked her to pray for him. I was a little surprised because he just had oral surgery three weeks ago. When I told her that, we had a good laugh because this was just another example of the time issue with which dyslexics often struggle.

At one of the Woodland Hall parent seminars, we learned that dyslexics often get confused with time. I was happy to learn this because one time I thought Marshall was lying to me or being a little smarty pants. Turns out he was just confused on time. He said he had brushed his teeth when I knew he hadn't. Now that I think about it, he had brushed his teeth....the day before.

Better Brain Care – A Great Resource in Tally

2009-07-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

I’m always amazed when prayers are answered before you even know there is a need. Better Brain Care was just one of those answers for us.

A friend shared the website with me because she knew that as a teacher educator I am interested in the latest research on the brain and learning. I took a look at the site and was amazed at what I learned about neurotherapy, a non-medication way to assist people with ADHD and many other issues. The following day I got a call from Marshall’s teacher all but stating that he needed something to help him (reading between the lines it sounded like medication...teachers can’t say that, but I got the idea). The something we choose was Better Brain Care. So, off we went for Marshall’s evaluation.

At this point, he is close to half way through the treatment. We have seen positive changes in his behavior and other issues that are beyond his control, like wetting the bed at night. The challenging part about neurotherapy is that insurance doesn’t cover it and think of all the money our insurance company is saving because our boys aren’t on medication.

Marshall loves it because he gets to play games just using his brain. The therapist attaches a few little “thingies” to his ears and tapes some other “thingies” to his head. (Don’t you just love my terminology? Obviously, I’m not the expert here.) As long as Marshall concentrates, the game works. There are quite a variety of games and he has many choices. Is it worth it? We think so! I continue to be amazed by the resources we have here in little old Tallahassee.

Visit the EEG Institute for more information and to locate a practitioner near you, if you are not in the Tallahassee area.

A Difference not a Disability

2009-07-10T04:44:00.000-07:00

So what is this thing called dyslexia anyway. My mom has it so I have heard a lot about it over the years but, like most people, I just thought it was a reading problem where the person saw letters backwards. Actually, dyslexia is a processing issue and neurological in nature. So, my boys' brains are wired a little differently, but once we get the information in their little brains, it sticks. Fortunately, the school my boys attend has a great slogan to help students and others understand how successful people with dyslexia can be and that slogan is "where dyslexia becomes a learning difference not a learning disability". What a great way to think about it!

The International Dyslexia Association has some great facts sheets about dsylexia. Oh the things we are learning about dyslexia!!!!

Exploding with Info!

2009-07-06T18:55:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of summer school for the boys! Jensen went last year and he was happy to return to Woodland Hall Academy to catch up with his old friends and make new ones. For Marshall, it was his first experience. After school, I called to see how it all went and Marshall said that his "brain was just exploding with information". He sure says the funniest things and always with lots of enthusiasm. Jensen was happy that his brother wasn't in the same classes with him, but he is happy to have his little brother at the same school. What a great first day of summer school!

Starting Early

2009-07-02T16:43:00.000-07:00

We have two beautiful boys and we've known they have had issues since they were very young...babies We had no idea what the issues were just that they had developmental issues of some sort. The journey has been long, but I'm happy to say we are fortunate to be in Tallahasse and have access to wonderful resources, which I will share more about latter. For the time being, I'm happy to say that the boys are drug free. To get started, I'd love to hear from others who are moms and dads of dyslexic children so we can share the joys, challenges and resources for helping our children reach their full potential.