"I Can't Say It"

My son timidly handed me a packet of papers the other day.  I asked him what it was and he said, "I can't say it".  

"What do you mean you can't say it?"  By this time, I had flipped the packet over and saw that it was an update on his IEP a.k.a. Individual Education Plan.  I didn't understand why he couldn't say it.  I thought we had talked about his IEP.  He said, "I can't say it because other kids will make fun of me."

I took a deep breath and composed myself for a response while trying not to cry or get mad...not at him but at our cruel world.  I reminded him that an IEP is a plan to help him do his best and that's all we ask of him is to do his best.  We reviewed the assessment together, which was very positive, and he began to sob.  

Again, I took another deep breath and asked him why he was upset because it was good news along with feedback on how he can improve.  I have to say that I was really impressed with the extensive feedback we received including tips on how to interact with teachers and peers.  

For the first half of the year, we have been reviewing the grades the teachers posted in the parent portal each night as part of the homework routine and from time to time, we would review the boys' planners.  For the new year, we are focusing on planning and then outcomes.  The homework routine starts with what is coming up and then moves to addressing issues with grades.   Based on the feedback in the IEP, we talked about how to approach a teacher to learn about the best way to prepare for an upcoming test.  The teacher suggested making flash cards.  I was so proud of my son because he wrote that down in his planner, he came home and made the flash cards, he studied them and reported back that he made the second highest grade in the class.  What progress!  

Public middle school has been a new world for us.  We made a good decision to make this move and we are so pleased with the work the boys are doing.  Both of them love school, they talk about how it feels like a second home to them.  Middle school typically isn't an easy time in life so this has been a very pleasant surprise. There are ups and downs but forward progress is so exciting and worth celebrating!  

You Are Not the Language Arts Teacher

Being in education often makes it frustrating to be the parent of school age children who are dyslexic.  Today one of my boys came home with an assignment from a non-language arts class that requires rhyming.

Really???!!!

The purpose of the activity is to show that the student understands a document.  That is a reasonable outcome, but I don't understand why it must include some sort of rhyming.  Dyslexics often struggle with rhyming.

So, what's a mom to do?  I'm all about holding my children accountable and my husband tried to work with my son, but after 45 minutes of total frustration there was a nuclear meltdown.

I have emailed the teaching explaining my son's challenge with phonological issues such as rhyming and requested an alternative assignment.  I suggested completing the activity without rhyming.  I will be interested in receiving a response...so now it's all about waiting!  By the way, I really like this teacher and my son seems to like the teacher too, but at a recent IEP meeting the teacher expressed frustration with my son's challenges with focusing.

In the meantime, I did a basic search to find more resources that I can share if needed.  Here's what I found:

• A study that included an fMRI demonstrating a difference in phonological processing between normal-reading children and dyslexic children age 8-12.  http://www.poldracklab.org/pdfs/temple_neuroreport_2001.pdf
• A study demonstrating that computer remediation can improve phonological processing for dyslexic children. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC151431/
• Here's another study that basically says that part of the dyslexic brain doesn't work during phonological experiences.  http://archneur.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=591676

I'll post more when I hear from the teacher.  

In the meantime, let me shift gears and provide another resource.  My son who has dysgraphia came home and requested a special pencil from the Therapy Shoppe.  The pencil is call PenAgain "Twist and Write" Pencils.  The pencils arrived in the mail a few days ago.  I was happy with the price and the product.  My son was happy too!

These are a Few of My Favorites

Finding high quality resources to support learning can be a challenge simply because of the extreme number of resources available on the web.  With my son's struggles in math, I continue to look for useful, high quality tools.  

I found the Kahn Academy which is useful in reviewing strategies.  Kahn has lots of good resources, but it wasn't exactly what I was looking for.  I wanted something that would pick up where my son's skills end and move him forward to fill the gaps that will get him on grade level.

I am very grateful to one of my dear friends who shared ALEKS.com with us. ALEKS is a math website that adjusts to the student's level of understanding and helps them build the next level of math skills.  It costs $19.95 a month which is very inexpensive considering what it does.  

Watching my son take the first assessment, I was impressed.  As he went through the items, he had the opportunity to select, "I haven't learned this yet".  What a great way to collect valid information and make the student feel better about themselves!  The site determines what the student does and doesn't know and then lays out a plan to continue to learn.  So far my son has completed over 11 hours in the past month.  I'm pretty pleased with his work because it is consistent as he completes 30 minutes a day, six days a week.

Another tool that we are using is called, Readtheory.com  This website is designed to determine the student's level of reading and help build their skills.  It's a little bit on the basic side, but we have found it to be useful in a lot of ways.  I like that you can adjust the font to make it easier to read. When answering the questions, it's easy to go back and look at the passage. 

Hopefully, others will find these resources to be useful!  I'd love to hear about the resources you use to help your children learn.

Going Public

We are about to embark on another educational adventure with the boys.  Last year, one of the boys attended a private school specifically for children with dyslexia and the other attended a charter school.  Our original plan was to send them both to the charter school this year, but we have changed our minds.  It wasn't an easy decision and of course there was drama.  At least for now, I think it is the right decision and here's some of the reasons why.

1.  School Grades.  The newspaper recently had an article on school grades and we learned that the charter school had a "C" and the public school we are zoned for had an "A".  Although we thought the charter school, was a good transition, we saw our son's frustration in having three new teachers in the first three months of school.  Unfortunately, private schools don't get school grades so it is hard to compare them.  One of the frustrations with the private school was that our son did the same work over and over.  After five years, we expect that we would have seen more progress and some different experiences.  Even though the public school got an "A" it doesn't mean that it will be perfect for our sons' needs, but we are willing to give it a chance.

2.  Experience with the school.  The boys attended a summer camp at the public school and really enjoyed the experience.  The staff was great and many of them are teachers and coaches at the school.  The activities were engaging and fun.  The boys are comfortable with the environment and they made some friends while they were at camp.  They also connected with other friends from scouts and from a school they previously attended.

3.  The staff.  The front office staff at the public school was amazing.  I stopped by the office to ask some questions.  The receptionist came out from behind the desk, shook my hand and introduced herself.  She was so nice and patiently answered all of my questions.  The book keeper came out of her office and provided information about some resources we needed to purchase.  She was also very nice and helpful.   This is a significant difference from some of the other schools and it's important to feel like the staff members care about our children and want to help out.  These are also the examples I want my children to see.

4.  Tutoring support.  We realize that academically this may not be an easy transition at least for one of the boys.  So, we have been working with tutors in math and reading at Love2Read here in Tallahassee, FL. The reading tutor uses the Wilson Language Program.  We will continue to work with them to provide the support the boys need.

Now for the drama...
When we told our youngest son about attending the public school, he was fine with the transition, but the older son was rather upset.  This is where the drama came in.  The timing was way off in telling him about this, but we made the choice to tell him when we did so that he would hear it from us and not from his brother or someone else at camp.  We told him the night he came home from Super Camp which was an academic week long camp.  He was tired, sick, and we were remodeling the house so life was pretty chaotic.  His first response was, "I'm gonna die!" and then he started crying.  He was so upset but we gave him time to process and explained why we made this choice and how we plan to support him.  On the day that summer camp at the public school ended, he told me that he was okay with going to school there.  That was an emotional roller coaster ride!  I'm sure there will be more, but we will do our best to communicate and support him.

My husband also reminded me that this isn't a permanent decision.  We can always go back to one of the other schools or look other options to support the boys in their educational journeys.

I'd love to hear feedback from you and others on how and why you make educational decisions.  I think this is one of the most important decisions we can make for our children!

Someone Flipped the Switch

This summer has been amazing for my older son.  After a rough year where he struggled in school with staying focused, it seems as if someone has flipped a switch and he is on!  He talks more...almost too much, but that's okay because the change is wonderful.  He talks about things that are important to him and his new found sense of humor is amazing.  Right now he's in summer school and when I ask him about his day, when I say "What happened at school today?"  I get an answer, a real answer, not the standard "nothing" answer.  It's amazing!  He's told me about a classmate who asked him if he goes to church.  He has shared wonderful stories about Art class and even asked me questions like what should he name the car that he is creating out of clay.  These may not seem important or ground shaking conversations to most moms of twelve year old boys, but it's a amazing to me.  The best part is that other people see it too.  My parents saw the difference and when he spent the night with a friend, the mom shared stories with me about him telling her all kinds of stuff, personal stuff, our business.  Yes, we'll need to make some adjustments, but what a wonderful change.

For a mom of an ADD boy, these changes are significant and it all has to do with neurofeedback treatments he has been undergoing through Better Brain Care.  Our younger son went through neurofeedback at Better Brain Care three years ago and I have always felt guilty that we didn't send the older one.  Turns out that wasn't a bad thing because the treatment has come a long way in three short years.  Instead of two leads to measure brainwaves, they now use four and they have a way of integrating the data they collect from the brainwaves with the inventories I completed about his physical, cognitive and emotional behaviors.  I have to say it again!  The results are amazing.  The only down side was that our insurance didn't cover the treatment, but I consider it worth every penny since we now have a little boy who is engaging with the world in ways he never has.  What a blessing!!!!

Dysnomia...now there's a mouthful!

Being the daughter of a dyslexic and the mom of two dyslexics, I've always struggled with what to do when my kids or Mom are struggling with finding a word. It's like they can remember every other word to describe what they are trying to say, but not the word they mean. Here's an example of how it goes....my son was telling me a story about something he saw on the way home from school and he couldn't remember the word for bus, but he remembered that it was yellow and big. It carries the kids to and from school and it's a vehicle. I felt like I was playing a word game, which I don't mind because I love word games, but I always feel bad for him when he has a moment of suffering from dysnomia...yes, it has a name. Actually, it's a disorder and it has a medical classification. As usual, my attitude has been...call it what you want just tell me how to help my kids and my mom, while we are it.

I went to a workshop recently at Woodland Hall Academy, the school my children attend, and thankfully the principal provided some answers and shared some tips on how to help someone who has dysnomia.

My oldest son seems to suffer the most from dysnomia. He has a very difficult time remembering names and recalling words. When he reads, I can give him a word he doesn't know, but he can't remember it the next time he sees it in a following sentence. It can be frustrating for both of us but the workshop I attended provided strategies and ways to keep us both from getting frustrated. Here's a few that we have found useful...

1. Don't play the rhyming game. In other words, don't say it rhymes with a word. People with dysnomia aren't good at rhyming.

2. Give the person time, don't get frustrated with them when they can't come up with the word.

3. Sometimes it's best just to give them the word. This reduces the frustration and provides the opportunity to focus on the content of what they are saying.

4. When reading and they can't remember the word, just give it to them and focus on the story.

At this point, I'm grateful for the tips and hope they help others. I'm also so grateful that my children are at a school they love and, most importantly, they love learning!!!

Normal and New

Normal...have you ever contemplated that word? I have and I'm happy to say that a few people have recently used the term to describe my kids. Although the issues our boys are dealing with are mild compared to what others face, I was sad when I found out they would be dealing with lifelong challenges. Fortunately, we didn't stick our heads in the sand. We didn't wait for them to out grow any of it. I am so grateful for the early intervention we did and all the help we have had and continue to have along the way. So, whatever normal means, I'm happy to hear it as a term to describe the boys. I know it's a silly, silly thing, but the most important part about it is the progress they have made. For that, I am truly grateful!

On a different note, I wanted to share a great article entitled "Dyslexia: What Teachers Need to Know". I recently saw it in the "Instructor" magazine produced by Scholastic. As a teacher educator, I often subscribe to such magazines and just like the public schools, I've never seen mention of the "D" word, dyslexia. My favorite part about the article was the positive slant, particularly that "dyslexics are strong learners". Oh so true! It's amazing what Marshall can repeat. He is like a sponge, but he does have to share that knowledge with others. I also found the half page of Quick Facts About Dyslexia a great way to hit on the important aspects of dyslexia.

The article was well written and included some excellent resources. I'm not sure which website resource I like the best, but I was pretty impressed with the Kids Health site which included a way to listen to the content on the page.

The International Dyslexia Association http://interdys.org/

LD Online http://www.ldonline.org/article/Dyslexia_Basics

Kids Health http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/learning_problem/dyslexia.html

Dyslexic Teaching Today http://dyslexia-teacher.co.uk/

I hope you enjoy these resources and share them with others!!!! Thanks for reading!