Race to the Space Police

The new challenge is on and this time it's for Jensen. Mike challenged him to read 50 books and he could have a new toy. During the trip to Toys R Us, the challenge quickly changed. Jensen talked his Daddy into a bigger Lego set, a Space Police Lunar Limo, if he read 100 books. Wow! I'm happy to hear that Jensen upped the challenge, but wow! Jensen really struggles with reading so I was REALLY surprised by his enthusiasm for this adventure.

Reading with the boys is my passion so I had to set up a process to make all of this happen and record the books. The first step was to let him pick out the books. He quickly dug around the house and came up with 50 books at a variety of levels....all his choice.

The next thing we put in place was how he would keep track of the challenge. Jensen needs some work on writing, too, so I decided to get a special notebook and have him number, write the name of each book, and a little something about the book. This didn't deter the excitement level, I think it only increased it. Jensen was excited that he would keep track of this challenge.

So, it was finally time to get down to the business of reading books. One of the issues that Jensen has with reading is learning new words. If you give him the word, he can't remember it the next time he sees it. I started writing down the words on index cards...I'll tell you more about that later...and on we went. We read Biscuit and the Baby, Biscuit's New Friend, Biscuit Goes to School and then we came to a book about Houdini, a chapter book.

Once again, Jensen surprised me. He dove into the book and began reading his first chapter book. Although, we had a pile of words to learn, night after night, we plugged away through that book. I've seen much improvement in his fluency and he started to remember the new words the next time he saw them, at least a few of them. In three weeks, he has read 20 books including the chapter book and we only counted that as one. Maybe we should have counted it as eight, but we didn't.

As Jensen was packing up for a trip to visit his grandparents, I decided that I would give him a break from the reading and not push it since he was doing so good. He came to me and asked if he could take his notebook and of course I said yes. That was worth a big smile....I think he thought I would say no. I told him that any book he read to his Papa or Coco counted.

I'm so happy that Jensen is excited about reading because I do believe that if you can read, you can do anything. I learned to juggle by reading a book! I can't was to see what Jensen learns from reading.

To the Castle...

Learning to tie shoes is one of the little, but important skills to learn in life. Marshall, who struggles with his fine motor skills, consequently finds shoe tying a challenge. Mike decided to provide some motivation to help Marshall master the art of shoe tying...what a great Dad! So, he took Marshall to Walmart and let him pick out a really cool toy.

After returning home they wrote an agreement stating that Marshall would receive the toy, which resided on top of the frig, when he had tied his shoes 100 times.

I think Mike was a little disappointed that Marshall only had two "tie" marks after a week. When Mike asked Marshall if he wanted to tie shoes Marshall said no. I was successful a few times by telling Marshall it was time to tie shoes, adding a few more tick marks. Whatever we tried, we just couldn't get him moving with this challenge.

Marshall found the turning point in his motivation the day after a family trip to the movies to watch Shrek Forever After. I told Marshall it was time to tie shoes. A significant time later he returned with a pile of shoes and proceeded with his shoe tying fest. Five minutes later he had racked up twelve successful ties. The secret to his success was a few lines from Shrek where

Fiona said, "the dragon goes under the bridge, through the tunnel and to the castle to save the princess." Can I just say that Shrek Forever After is my new favorite movie? It really was a fun movie. Regardless, I still can't believe a few lines in a movie made that much of a difference, but it did!

Marshall quickly tied his shoes many times and even enlisted the help of

his older brother. They made an assembly line. As soon as Marshall tied a shoe, he tossed it over his shoulder, yelled "shoe waiting" and Jensen untied it. Then, Jensen added it back to the line up. What a great team!

One of my favorite parts about being a mom is watching the moments when the light comes on, their brains click, and the boys learn something new. One never knows when it's going to happen, but life is pretty

amazing when it does. I have to say I am pretty proud of Marshall for his hard work. I have to give props to Jensen for being such a wonderful and supportive big brother. Finally, way to go Mike! You came up with a brilliant idea! Not only did you motivate Marshall to learn how to tie his

shoes. You taught him about setting a goal and reaching it. You also taught him about delayed gratification...something that is difficult to learn in our instant society.

The Weird Kid

When I found myself in the kitchen last weekend with two crying boys, my heart broke just a little and I had to let go just a little more. Jensen started the crying, saying that he was upset that some boys called his brother "The Weird Kid" at an event the night before. Marshall joined in with tears and I wish I could have found the parental manual with the chapter on how to protect your kids or at least the chapter on what to do when another kid makes fun of your kid.

Marshall's Asperger's does make him different from others. Most people don't notice his issues with making friends and interacting appropriately with others. At first glance, he seems very outgoing, cute and funny. We have been working with him on his approach to meeting people and learning to ask questions and interacting as opposed to bombarding his acquaintance with stories about his teeth or the latest thing he has learned. We'll keep working on this one.

I do admit that in some ways Woodland Hall Academy has us spoiled. The boys are graded on their encouragement of others. Around our house you hear comments like, "That was a nice try" or "Way to go" and the comments come from the boys....not just the parents. Wouldn't our world be a better place if we all encouraged one another?

My response in this situation was simply that the boys needed to pray for the kids who were calling Marshall names and be thankful they have parents who are trying to teach them better. Then the floodgates opened and out came more stories and questions I wasn't quite ready to answer.

Marshall told me about a boy who was "waving his finger in a circle by my head". I just told Marshall it wasn't nice and not to do it. Guess what he did to the boy who did it to him the very next day at Cub Scouts? Marshall tried out the crazy sign. I called him down immediately and reminded him of how upset he was when the boy did the same thing to him. He scooted back to his seat and hasn't tried it since.

Marshall also waved his middle finger at me and asked me if I knew what that meant. I told him I did and asked him if he knew what it meant. He said the boy that taught it to him the night before said it was a bad sign. I agreed and told him all he needed to know at this point in time is that he shouldn't be doing this.

Gee! Being a Mom is definitely interesting and I remember what it was like to be called awful names, but I will say that it brings to mind sayings like, "Smooth sailing doesn't make a skillful sailor" which brings me some comfort. So, whatever reason Marshall is supposed to experience such meanness I just hope I can help him through it if only just to listen and be a safe place where the boys can share their experiences.

In the Spotlight

It's been a long time since I have written about the boys and their experiences with Dyslexia. I will get back to this. For the most part, I'll just say that no news is good news. Although I do have some interesting stories to tell.

I'll get started with "Open House". Open House is kind of a misnomer. I think it should be called something like "Curriculum Night" or "Let's Have Fun with What We Have Learned Night".

In November, we attended Open House and what a wonderful event! The main reason I enjoyed it because of what the boys had to do. They had to:

1. Get up in front of people.

2. Say their memorized lines.

3. Speak loud enough to be heard.

For most people, that would be a butterflies-in-the-stomach experience. It appeared that most of the students, our boys especially, were excited to share what they had learned and of course each skit included some humor which made it all the more fun.

Here's the "mom" perspective. This was really impressive because I watch my kids struggle with reading every day. They mispronounce words, they lose their place when they are reading, they add words, and they get frustrated. I was nervous for them, but I didn't share that with the boys. I was so proud that they pulled it off. They memorized all of their lines and made it happen. What a wonderful way to help these boys and other students develop into confident, happy and successful people!

The Ostrich, Or At Least That's What My Mom Calls Me

Yes, my mom calls me an ostrich, referring to the fact that I like to stick my head in the sand and ignore things. I like to call it my thinking time. I need to think about how to deal with issues and what to do next. I mean , it's hard to hear that your babies aren't perfect and that they will have life long challenges. Any parent who has been through any sort of medical or psychological assessment with a child can tell you about the challenges of the processes and the outcomes. Let me say that I know the diagnosis my boys have, could have been a lot worse and I count my blessings every single day. I just pray that we can do everything we need, to help them reach their potential.

When the boys were first diagnosed, one with PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Delays Not Otherwise Specified) and one on the Autism Spectrum, I was completely caught off guard by the grieving process. It was sad to think that they wouldn't be the perfect little boys, I had dreamed they would be. So, what happened? The grieving process blindsided me. First there was shock and denial. I stayed in denial for a while, hence my nickname. The anger came in the form of being made at other parents who mistreated their children and the guilt was in thinking I had done something wrong. Depression continues to rear its ugly head from time to time and I like to eat that one. I have come to accept my beautiful boys just the way they are and support them through their challegnes and celebrate their joys. I continue to grow right along with my whole family, especially spiritually, and I count among my greatest blessings my husband and our two wonderful boys!

A few years ago, I participated in a parent focus group that was part of a research project and I did find comfort in hearing other parents share similar experiences with the grieving process. The best part of sharing with other parents was the hope and that's what I'll hang onto for now!

It's a dyslexic thing...the time issue!

Recently one of Marshall's teachers asked me when he was having surgery. She said that he had asked her to pray for him. I was a little surprised because he just had oral surgery three weeks ago. When I told her that, we had a good laugh because this was just another example of the time issue with which dyslexics often struggle.

At one of the Woodland Hall parent seminars, we learned that dyslexics often get confused with time. I was happy to learn this because one time I thought Marshall was lying to me or being a little smarty pants. Turns out he was just confused on time. He said he had brushed his teeth when I knew he hadn't. Now that I think about it, he had brushed his teeth....the day before.

Better Brain Care – A Great Resource in Tally

I’m always amazed when prayers are answered before you even know there is a need. Better Brain Care was just one of those answers for us.

A friend shared the website with me because she knew that as a teacher educator I am interested in the latest research on the brain and learning. I took a look at the site and was amazed at what I learned about neurotherapy, a non-medication way to assist people with ADHD and many other issues. The following day I got a call from Marshall’s teacher all but stating that he needed something to help him (reading between the lines it sounded like medication...teachers can’t say that, but I got the idea). The something we choose was Better Brain Care. So, off we went for Marshall’s evaluation.

At this point, he is close to half way through the treatment. We have seen positive changes in his behavior and other issues that are beyond his control, like wetting the bed at night. The challenging part about neurotherapy is that insurance doesn’t cover it and think of all the money our insurance company is saving because our boys aren’t on medication.

Marshall loves it because he gets to play games just using his brain. The therapist attaches a few little “thingies” to his ears and tapes some other “thingies” to his head. (Don’t you just love my terminology? Obviously, I’m not the expert here.) As long as Marshall concentrates, the game works. There are quite a variety of games and he has many choices. Is it worth it? We think so! I continue to be amazed by the resources we have here in little old Tallahassee.

Visit the EEG Institute for more information and to locate a practitioner near you, if you are not in the Tallahassee area.